When Angels Fly
by aryaputra
Summary: 'Release your wings, Sakuno. Angels are meant to soar the skies...'When shy Sakuno-chan realizes that some things were Not Meant To Be, she gives up and moves on.


**Beautiful Dreams and Wishful Thoughts.**

Dear memory keeper (a.k.a. diary),

Being a big girl now, everyone would expect me to understand.

Where babies come from, why some people are smart and some are not as 'blessed' as others. But there was one thing no one taught me.

Life.

I always thought that the world was a rainbow, and we were princes and princesses flocking under it. Enjoying the warmth and laughter, we would find our happiness and faith in each other.

I never realized till I met _him_ that I was wrong.

He had so much passion, so much love for something others thought was a mere sport. Tennis was in his every breath; the reason for living. When he played in the courts, he played with so much beauty that it didn't just take _my_ breath away; even Horio-kun was rendered speechless. And he is _never _speechless.

I fell in love with that very passion, that fire that made me breathless. Sometimes I would wake up at night and imagine myself enjoying it with him. Those images of both of us playing that sport he loved so much always made me blush, even when he wasn't around. I would have felt honored to share his happiness. These dreams I held within my heart were simple and yet, so pure and innocent for me.

I always prepared myself for them to be shattered.

He never noticed me. How could he, when he had more significant things to look after, more beautiful dreams to chase? I knew my place ever since I realized his skills and the future he was capable of. I found my happiness and faith in him. Just by looking at him; watching _his_ joy made me happy. I shouldn't need any more. But I _wanted_ more.

Sometimes I wished to the stars. I spent nearly all my wishes on wishing stars, eyelashes _even_ temple visits. I wished he would look at me the same way I look at him. With love.

I even wished once, that I had been the love of his love. Maybe, it would have been better if I met him before all this, before tennis. Maybe it would be better if I didn't meet him at all. Maybe he would grow to love me, seeing something special behind my shy, normal self.

But in the end, I realized that there were too many _maybes_. Too much of hope. Just waiting to be crushed by reality were my beautiful dreams and my fragile spirit. I knew this would never happen. Even if I tied myself to him and begged him to look my way, he would probably _mada mada dane _me and walk away. _That_ was how insignificant _I_ was to him.

The 14th of July is very significant day to me. No, it's not his birthday nor is it mine either. It's not the day he confessed.

It's the day I changed.

For good or for worse, I don't know. The day before, something happened. Something that would change my life.

I was sitting in the corner of my room, on my bed. Staring out into the sky, I was doing what I usually did. Daydreaming. As usual, it _was_ about Ryoma-kun. I just returned from one of his matches. Feeling excited about his win and his new serve (I don't remember what it was called), I sat down to contemplate about it. I barely heard the door creak open or see the head that peered from behind it.

"Sakuno?"

I jumped; feeling super-embarrassed being caught in the middle of my fantasies. I whirled around so fast, my head swam and I felt nauseous.

"Obaa-chaaaan!" I whined and frowned "Mou, you could have knocked first".

She entered and sat beside me. I blinked; this was not normal. She looked at me, her gaze almost painful as she looked at me, confused. I remained oblivious to her looks.

"Ryoma-kun used his new serve today! I'm so glad I saw it! I feel so happy obaa-chan!"

"Then, why are you crying?"

Huh? It was then when I realized that my cheeks felt oddly cold and sticky. The pain of my dreams haunted me as I recollected my thoughts. Ryoma-kun. I didn't have to say it out loud as I guessed she already knew.

"Who are you Sakuno?"

Who am I ? I'm clumsy, direction-challenged, blushing, stuttering, plain-Jane Ryuuzaki Sakuno. I'm in love with a prodigy, someone who is beyond my league. Someone whom I can't even touch.

"What are your goals?"

"Goals, Obaa-chan? I don't have any yet, but I'm sure they'll come to me one day." I smiled at her. Yes, I was sure.

"Sakuno, is he worth it? Is he worth all your dreams, all your life to be spent on him?"

I blushed and looked away. I never thought of him in _that_ way before. The answer came to me as quickly as his serve. I was going to tell her the obvious when she stopped me.

"Think about it. He's found what he wants, what he was searching for. Have _you_ found what _you're_ searching for?"

I stopped, the tears lingering in the corners of my eyes. What was I searching for? What was I searching for before he came? There _definitely_ was something else.

Then it came to me. I couldn't remember. I had devoted so much time into him; I never left enough for myself.

"Sakuno, what is the point of loving someone if it's just a shadow? The Ryoma you love is just a figment of your imagination, something from your dreams."

I was staring at her. Realization was dawning into me; blossoming like a flower.

I couldn't change Ryoma even if I wanted to. Ryoma was Ryoma. It wasn't the cold, aloof Ryoma I fell for; it was the Ryoma who had tennis as his world.

That Ryoma wouldn't abandon his world. Not even for me. I existed in my world and I didn't have to change for him. I am me.

I looked up at her, a determined look in my eyes. I had to forget, I had to believe in myself. I knew what I had to do.

I had to let go.

It was fun while it lasted. The happiness of loving someone, that pure feeling of joy. For my own good, for his good; I had to let go.

I have decided, dear diary, to do my best. I want to show Obaa-chan, Tomo-chan, even senpai-tachi. Even Ryoma-kun. Wait, I mean _Echizen-san_. I can do it when I try my hardest. I'm not _just_ weak, shy Sakuno. I'm made of stronger substance than that.

I, Ryuuzaki Sakuno, will succeed.

15th of July.

P.S. I still don't remember what it was. That dream I was searching for. Perhaps what I was searching for so long that when I saw something different and more beautiful, I decide to grab the chance to know it. Regardless of whether _it_ was related to my dream or if it would bring me happiness, I went with it and eventually forgot what my initial dream was.

Yeah, that's what might have happened.


End file.
